Don't Even BLOGGER Intro

Oh hiya easy breezy beautiful cover girls and smooth sexy handsome Coverboys (I made the Coverboy one up obviously). So because I can smell sex on legs from a mile away and I have a hawk eye for the best style amidst a crowd of thousands that can rarely be stopped (normally only by conjunctivitis) it only makes sense that I can spot the bad as well. By god there is HELLA LOADS of bad fashion that is waiting for me to stop in its tracks. So my blogs entitled 'Don't Even Blogger' are for you blog viewers and I will thus hand out advice and name and shame each week things for you guys to cautiously avoid. Each week it will be one or more of these beauties listed below:

• 2 items (one for girls & one for boys)
• one person
• one place
• one shop
• one word/ phrase / saying.

So..... lets jump right fucking on it like a tramp on chips (yes I love this saying).

A prick on legs, no sorry Mugs

Guys, Don't Even Blogger wearing- Ugg Boots for Men, or as I like to call them 'Man Uggs' a.k.a MUGGS. Uggs are only just fashionable enough for women to wear, I mean think of any high end high street designer you may own and if any items would ever go with a pair of Uggs. Karen Miller? NO Armani? NO Hollister? NO All Saints? NO Vivienne Westwood? HELL TO THE FUCKING NO Jack Wills? Only if you wanted to be burnt at the stake Primark? YES - oh wait, Primark is shit and to be honest the few beauties you do find in Primark should never be paired with these furry devilish whole things that are supposedly called boots. Ugg Boots honestly, they literally look like dead rabbits turned inside-out, with less blood and less style (rabbits have style).

One of Jade's more questionable looks

Don't Even Blogger Disrespecting - Jade Cole - For all y'all ANTM haters Jade Cole is by far the most prolific and well known ANTM contestant ever, so it was no surprise that she was asked to star in the 17th Cycle Al-Star Addition, now i love a girl who say 'what you see is what you get' & 'don't judge a book by its cover' straight after one another, a girl who has has no clear concept of the English language, a woman who doesn't understand what a question is and a woman who can distinguish between America's Next Top Model & America's next Top Best Friend (not a TV show). However I was sooo disappointed  to find out draggalicious Jade wouldn't be returning. Jade should not be named and shamed however respected, because as posted on her twitter her reasons included the 'bogus contract' Ken Mok and the ANTM producers were offering Jade for cycle 17, so unlike the way the show may have been edited we now see Jade had integrity (on some levels) and restraint (on few levels) and will not be returning for cycle 17 =(. I have provided a hilarious tribute of Jade here for you to watch and see what we are missing out on for Cycle 17.

The 6th Circle of Hell

Don't Even Blogger Shopping in - Mountain Warehouse - Lets keep this short and sweet, I thought this was bloody obvious, we all know Mountain Warehouse clothes is like a Drag Queens version of 'Single Ladies' - when I asked one of our girls to flyer (For Jack Wills) the guy opposite at Mountain Warehouse tried to dignity a flirt, my poor Jack Will's employee is so lucky she didn't spontaneously projectile vomit, to be fair, Mountain Warehouse was not the main reason, he was uggers (uggers as in butt ugly not some sorta chavish slang for your most unfashionable friend who constantly wears Ugg boots). You only need to shop her for camping gear, for when you go to hills, farms and woods.. speaking of woods (no this is not the part of the blog with inappropriate x-rated images....)

Don't Even Blogger Saying - Your Neck Of The Woods - Personally I think it makes absolutely NO sense, 'neck' in a woods, if the saying was 'In Your Bottle Neck Place Thing' I think in actual fact there would be more coherence. Also it angers me more so when fat people use this saying, if you are going to say 'my neck of the woods' I think your going to need a neck, 20 chins just doesn't cut it. I just think this saying is for the dim witted, so please when your in my neck of the woods refrain for saying this.

So that conclude this weeks addition. So just Don't Even Blogger with Everything Mentioned! :D Peace y'all, stay safe (a.k.a Away from London, Manchester, Wolverhampton, Kent - everyone is rioting).