I can't even remember the name of the place we found these first monstrosities i'm hoping someone will comment and say they know where (maybe Anna as she is modelling the clothes). But this shop was full of uglyness... So look at the vial sequin top and shocking pink jacket with weird muslin material trousers... Now Anna and all her somehow makes these items look incredibly sexy, but trust me they are vial, she stepped out the fitting room and I wanted to instantly disown her. Instead I asked her to remove the items..... The second photo shows Anna modelling a rather grandma-fied silk chiffon sort of top.... Don't even get me started......In the same shop I didn't think it was possible but they have made a dress that looks like a maxi dress designed for women who were incontinence pants, thats how ugly it is.... the print, the cut HOW IS IT FLATTERING!! Also in some horrifically ugly shoe shop for people who don't like shoes we found this lucky squirrels tail keyring.... so if you want to make faux fur look awful please buy this horrific keyring.....
The next stop was the hideous necklace store.... which again i can't remember what shop it was in... (girls you need to help me out - yes that's you Anna, Frankie and Ellie!) But yes this looks like Anna has fallen on a coral reef and slit her throat and some of the coral has become iembedded in her neck. Apart from that actually would be more beautiful and on trend. Also Ellie is modelling some lovely shoes.... animal print is a favourite of mine, but at Office they decided 'hey why not stick a HUGE GOLD TIGERS FACE on the shoe to glam it up. No bitch No. it's horrid yet again.
Next stop we went to All Saints, which has some lovely yet ridiculously over priced clothes, and the quality is terrible, looking most is less than 60% cotton full of polyester, and although the leather jackets are real... spending £400 hardly justifies it. Frankie pulled out some lovely leggings with a random skirt on top... made from the exact same material as the leggings..... and attached..... to the leggings..... I think this item as horrific as it may be was designed for those woman who think its acceptable to wear leggings with a shirt that doesn't cover there ass. HORRIBLE. The next shop again skips my memory possibly because it was like the tenth circle of hell (yes i know there is only supposed to be nine circles I'm suggesting this shop is a new one!). So yes this shop sold a lot of knitwear... and obviously the head of visual merchandising thought "hmmmm what sells knitwear... oh sheep.... lets stick all of our knitwear on the back of toy sheep on high shelves to help sell them." Well I would like to let these people know... it doesn't work, it just looks stupid.
After laughing at the sheep for men merchandising we headed off to New Look, a.k.a Poo Look, they had a whole fixture dedicated to horrific faux gold belts... it was so shiny and bright they should of doubled as a tanning salon. I also found a laughable Gilet in Topman, the service in Topshop/Topman Bluewater was HORRIFIC, no smiles, no nothing, infact the lady who served me spent the whole time talking to her colleague about how she was amazing at her job and how shit her colleague was. But back the the gilet, yes they need tips from other stores... it was thin, had no purpose and was fire engine red..... oh god, there is no help for some items.
So yer that was awful, Topman do some amazing little gems, I didn't understand that piece..... We then visited another "I hate my feet so will put them in awful shoes shoe store" which had these lovely yeti looking items sitting on a shelf in prime focal view from outside the shop, perhaps to deter anyone with half a fashion sense from walking in. I think the biggest shocker of the day was at Zara. Zara do fantastic stuff and the window display in Canterbury at the moment is so chique and modern. HOWEVER for some reason Bluewater had a different display... the clothing, well look at it, its from a Manic Depressives wardrobe. But look... I have nothing against gingers, in fact embrace the ginge, but DON'T EVER get a ginger bowl haircut. Christ my life, they must have seen me walking past and thought "as a joke lets put these wigs on the mannequins and see that boys reaction" which was me literally screaming.
Now again at Zara they had this lovely two piece gold suit Ellie somehow gives a lot of justice, become trust me when I say this..... I wanted to vomit everywhere, I wanted to vomit out of my mouth, my eyes, my ears, my nose,, my belly button... I wanted to vomit out of EVERYWHERE. So enjoy the gold two piece suit......
So I hope you have enjoyed these gems of ugliness, I feel sharing them with the world got a lot off my chest, we did find some cool items at Bluewater. I will share these items with you soon, but this post is about horrible things.... horrible items..... so here is a photo of my friend Bex mix matching Stripes and Plad Check.... these items are fine, but TOGETHER... oh Bex.... Rebecca.... you needed help.
PEACE Y'ALL!!!
